How Spending Less Time in Social Media Led Me to Live More Purposefully
I open my Facebook app on the phone and saw my friend post a photo sipping martini at the beach in Mauritius, and we couldn't even go for a cheap beach vacation in Thailand.
Another friend post photo of her luxurious travelling to US and Europe for business trip, and I doubt about my decision to quit my high demanding corporate job now.
My friend shows at her Facebook post how she gets her 6 years old to do all the house chores and I must be a lousy mom because my daughter can't even tie her shoe lace without struggling.
3 of my good friends had gathering for Christmas party and tag each other in the Facebook and I was not included. They hated me.
Another friend post the pictures of her delicious baking and home cooked dishes and I felt such a failure for not even able to fry fish without getting burned.
I keep scrolling through Facebook and feel my mood deteriorate with each new update until I feel poor, underachieving, and low.
Oh, did I mention my daughter has just started primary school this year? Shouldn't I be doing more, getting busier, being more successful because she is no longer a toddler who demand so much of my time?
The comparison anxiety is perpetually there. It is never ending competition. Both with people I see in Facebook and with myself.
So, I uninstall my Facebook app from my phone. I didn't go and camp there very often anymore because it takes a lot more effort for me to access it via web.
I started writing a blog to tell the story about myself. I write about the real things, both the successes and failures.
I write to express, not for the purpose of being published or the intention of being read. And I write to understand, not because I have all the answers.
Because by writing, I am able to see things more clearly. By writing, I become a little bit more of myself.
And slowly I feel that I lead a lot more meaningful life.
Picking up my daughter from school and seeing her smile felt a lot more joyful than my business trip to US or Japan now.
Having a time to take a nap makes me feel so relax and peaceful instead of being unproductive.
And what really amazing is I give up comparing myself with others and on being perfect. Instead I begin to work of becoming myself.
Because when the success looks so good to the world, but doesn't feel good in our heart, it doesn't feel like a success at all.